It’s so cold that…#10

Dogs are getting stuck to fire hydrants.

It’s so cold that…#9

You need defrosters - just to have a good cry.

It’s so cold that…#8

We had to chop up the piano for firewood…but we only got two chords.

It’s so cold that…#7

Hitchhikers are holding up pictures of thumbs.

It’s so cold that…#6

Shania Twain covered her midriff

It’s so cold that…#5

Lawyers have their hands in their own pockets.

It’s so cold that…#4

…I actually feel like listening to Rush Limbaugh. That's how desperate I am for hot air.

It’s so cold that…#3

…the property taxes are frozen.

It’s so cold that…#2

…the words came out of our mouth in chunks of ice and we had to fry them to see what we said.

It’s so cold that…#1

OK, I'll get this party started… Here's one of many possible answers to Ed McMahon's famous question, "How cold is it Johnny…."

1. It's so cold I thought she was happy to see me.

Got better ones? I'm sure you do. Send them in.