Don’t use the “B” word Lightly

A lot of people with negative thoughts and irrational feelings about Winter will rush to invoke the "B" word anytime the temperatures decline and a snowflake wafts to earth. Please, before you call a lovely and ordinary snow event a Blizzard, familiarize yourself with the term's definition. Blizzard isn't a word you want to toss around lightly. That kind of slanderous behavior damages the reputation of my client.

Again, courtesy of Wikipedia, here's the definition of a blizzard: …the winter storm must have winds of 40 km/h (25 mph) or more, have snow or blowing snow, visibility less than 1 km (about 5⁄8 mile), a wind chill of less than −25 °C (−13 °F), and that all of these conditions must last for 4 hours or more before the storm can be properly called a blizzard.

It’s so cold that…#1

OK, I'll get this party started… Here's one of many possible answers to Ed McMahon's famous question, "How cold is it Johnny…."

1. It's so cold I thought she was happy to see me.

Got better ones? I'm sure you do. Send them in.

You Igloo?

Igloos were the original geodesic dome. With all due respect to Bucky Fuller, the Inuit's had this figured out long ago. You know, like Columbus discovered America? Hello, there were people already here, ok?

If you think snow is cold, then what's with this Wikipedia explanation of igloo insulation: snow is an insulator (due to its low density). On the outside, temperatures may be as low as -50 degrees Fahrenheit (-46°C), but on the inside, the temperature is much more moderate and can support life.

Life, dude! Snow's not cold! Throw on a little light, whistle for the Siberian Huskie, grab your main squeeze, tune in Leno, chew on some blubber, open some fine wine… this winter thing cool hot!

Opening Remarks

I'm not a lawyer. I just play one in the blogosphere.

Ladies and gentlemen of the January, jury…I will prove during these trying times in the days ahead that Winter is innocent. A cold, calculating, sinister force? No. Autumn is the culprit. While Winter is blamed, autumn never takes the fall.

Condsider: It is autumn that denudes the trees; turns the grass brown; hardens the ground; shaves minutes of light from each day; frosts the pumpkin; kills the flowers. By the time winter arrives, everything is already dead. Dead!

Autumn is the accomplice.  Autumn wraps itself in the arms of people's romantic imaginations while fueling Winter's get-away car and loading the upper atmosphere. Autumn has been framing Winter for years and it is time the truth be known. Stay tuned…